Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With String

Yesterday, I was sitting at my apartment, by myself, minding my own business, when the doorbell rang.

A mailman gave me a package. I like packages (who doesn't?). This one didn't have a return address, but I figured it was just something from my mom.

So I open it to find:

1. 2 packages of pasta-roni

2. One of those bowl-appetit things

3. Lots of little packages of trail mix

4. Pink (strawberry-flavored) marshmallows

5. Snickers

6. M&Ms

7. A talking Valentine's Day card with $20 in it

8. Cake mix

Totally random. Trail mix? And the card was unsigned. I called my mom to see if she gave it to me, and she responded "No, I don't even know your address". I emailed my grandma, and she said it wasn't her. I asked my boyfriend, and he said it wasn't him (though I'm still not quite convinced that he isn't lying).

I told my roommates about it, and showed them the package. And so we proceeded to try to figure out who sent it to me.

Theory #1 (and the best one):

I sent it to myself...from the future. The items it contains will save the planet. (Too bad my roommates and I already ate some of it).

Theory #2:

It was meant for another Jamie at this same address. (Yeah, I know, not really a good theory)

Theory #3:

Aliens sent it.

Theory #4:

There is a plot against my roommates and I. (Because they want all of our money? Hahahahahaha. Right.)

Theory #5:

I have an unknown benefactor (like Pip in "Great Expectations")

Theory #6:

A professor is in love with me, but for obvious reasons cannot profess his love in person (this theory was presented by one of Michelle's friends)

Theory #7:

We're living in a horror film. (No worries, I won't go anywhere into the dark by myself)

Theory #8:

This package is part of my boyfriend's elaborate plans for Valentine's Day. He will take me hiking (hence the trail mix), the fee for the park is $20, we'll roast the pink marshmallows, and cook the pasta, and then he'll slay a bear with the card. (This theory was presented by the missionaries and a friend from church).

Any other theories? I'll let you all know if I keel over from the package. And hopefully the sender will come forward.